Do you ever get so angry that you want to lash out, shout or throw something? Does your partner enrage you so often that you find yourself screaming at them? Maybe you are finding yourself frequently wanting to hurt someone because they irritate you all of the time?
We have all experienced the heated surge of anger and while being angry from time to time is an integral part of our evolutionary make up (it can help us detect and respond to threatening situations) Constant, uncontrollable anger can be an incredibly destructive and dangerous emotion.
People often claim to feel anger in response to believing they are being attacked, judged, insulted, deceived or frustrated. And although it can be useful, it can also be frightening. Anger becomes a problem when it harms you or people around you. This can depend on whether you express your anger, and how you express it.
Anger can range from irritability through to rage, however, in general, any form of anger is caused by the belief that life is unfair and/or someone has violated our internal beliefs about how someone ‘should’ or ‘should not’ behave.
Rage is generally caused by childhood situations where a person has been repeatedly criticised and humiliated and made to feel that they are neither worthy nor lovable. Over a long period of time these wounds to the self tend to become the trigger where people defend themselves against these negative feelings by mobilising extreme aggression to protect their repeated feelings of low self-worth.
You cannot control the situations that might provoke your anger, but you can learn to manage your attitude to them with CBT, which can help with all kinds of anger issues from mild irritation to explosive, violent rage.